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#Scriptchat Transcript w/ @timschildberger of @LiveReadLA - Scene Description February 12, 2017
Tonight we talked writing effective scene descriptions and how to cut those one-line characters. Enjoy! @jeannevb
- Don't forget to check out @LiveReadLA and get $5 off with promo code "scriptchat" http://scriptchat.blogspot.com/2017/02/tim-schildberger-of-livereadla-to-guest.html …
- It’s #SCRIPTCHAT O’CLOCK w @timschildberger. Topic: scene descriptions & sm characters. Discount for @liveReadLA! http://scriptchat.blogspot.com/2017/02/tim-schildberger-of-livereadla-to-guest.html …
- #scriptchat sm characters?
- I'm ready. Let's save scene description. #scriptchat
- Best site to participate in #scriptchat live is here: http://www.tchat.io/rooms/scriptchat …
- @dreamer13711 "small characters" meaning the ones with just a line or two of dialogue #scriptchat
- Hannah - too many writers throw in characters with one line only. A guard 'drop the gun' - type stuff. #scriptchat
- #scriptchat Oh wait adele's on. Hold up. Must multi-task. She's the only one that sings for real.
- @timschildberger @jeannevb @blueneumann Hey guys! *waves* Welcome Tim! *waves* Great to have you here! #scriptchat
- #scriptchat alright let's do this
- @writeranthonydp haha tell Adele to zip it. It's time for #scriptchat
- We've had enough things derail us lately. #scriptchat
- We all write scenes naturally. So we 'see' waiters asking the leads for a drink. But in a script - they slow it all down. #scriptchat
- So for those who don't know, @timschildberger runs LiveReadLA. He's sharing tips he's picked up from hearing table reads #scriptchat
- @timschildberger How would you go about introducing characters? #scriptchat
- #scriptchat from a cruising altitude of 36,000 feet. :)
- At our last read - one writer had 9 one line characters in 30 pages! #scriptchat
- @timschildberger I'm trying to keep mine as simple as possible, not going into a lot of details (clothes, hair, etc.) #scriptchat
- @SarahAlexis4 Hey Sarah! *waves from down below* Hope you're having a fun, safe flight! #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Were they a part of a crowd or spread out through the thing? #scriptchat
- A big standout in live reads is scene description. Too long, too clunky, etc. So, @timschildberger, let's do this! #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 scene description is hard. And sooo tempting to overuse. #scriptchat
- Resist the urge to write a novel in scene description for several reasons... #scriptchat
- @timschildberger what is the most consistent problem writers seem to have w/ scene description? #scriptchat
- 1. Readers get bored FAST #scriptchat
- @timschildberger @SarahAlexis4 @jeannevb How many lines would you devote to scene description? Most scripts I've seen use lots #scriptchat
- 2. Unless it's relevant, no-one really cares if the character's show color. #scriptchat
- 3. Production designers, costume folk HATE being limited by a scene description. #scriptchat
- I mean shoe color #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 @timschildberger @SarahAlexis4 @jeannevb There's no specific rule. Just BARE MINIMUM to get the ball rolling. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger What about what takes place in the background (like at an office or restaurant, etc.)? #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Q: Tips on achieving a good balance of white/space on the page in description for easy read? #scriptchat
- #scriptchat I know someone who wrote the shoe color. I was like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWaLxFIVX1s …
- @SarahAlexis4 I would advise writing as little as possible, and adding if folks get confused. Not the other way around. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger And what are some scripts with good, lean examples of scene description? #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 If the BG action is relevant to the scene - great. If you're directing extras...Definitely NOT. #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 I would look at any professional screenplay - unless it's an action film - less talk, more explosions means more SD #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Exactly what I was thinking. #scriptchat
- Anyone want to guess what the other MAJOR issue with SD is? Really common issue I'm noticing. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Too much detail or too specific? #scriptchat
- @timschildberger The last script I read for my writers' meeting (La La Land) had LOTS of description, but understandable #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Given that it's a musical #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Going too lean? #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 Musical is a different beast altogether. #scriptchat
- It's not overuse or underuse...it's telling readers things the audience can't know. #scriptchat
- #scriptchat @timschildberger Like their thoughts?
- @timschildberger I've heard that a lot. Only write what the audience will see and hear. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger like crawling into the character's head #scriptchat
- If you say 'Betty, 26, just returned from Hawaii and hates snakes' - and she's sipping tea at a Diner in the scene... #scriptchat
- It's lazy writing alas. And it's writing for the reader, not for the viewer. RESIST. #scriptchat
- This is a mentality I brought into the brainstorming: #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Better to say "sporting a fresh tan and wears a T-shirt declaring 'I hate snakes'." #scriptchat
- I can't tell you how often I see it. It's a pet peeve. The trick is to show us, or reveal it to the audience. It's the challenge #scriptchat
- If I have an idea for a character trait, I immediately think of how to express it visually or audibly #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 Exactly. #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 @timschildberger @writeranthonydp Exactly, and only write the visuals relevant to the story/scene/characters. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger pretty easy to reveal she's afraid of snakes via her actions. Just watch me when a snake slithers by ha #scriptchat
- Or have her scratch her sunburn and tell the waitress Hawaii was awesome...many ways to do it. #scriptchat
- Inner dialogues are for novels. #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 @timschildberger @writeranthonydp Unless we're supposed to be let in as the audience. #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 @Al_1701 @timschildberger @writeranthonydp Yeah, if they have inner dialogues, they're schizophrenic. #scriptchat
- And for overused Voice over - but that's another scriptchat. :) #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 @filmwritr4 @timschildberger @writeranthonydp The reader should never be let in where the viewer can't go. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger A #scriptchat to be moderated by Morgan Freeman.
- You could go all in with the inner dialog thing and let us see different aspect of the personality argue. #scriptchat
- We all do it. We want to explain the character quickly and SD seems very convenient. #scriptchat
- Does anyone else here draw? I found that training to be very useful in creating characters and settings. #scriptchat
- Though, that would be more of the realm of an off the wall comedy. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger a lot of people use the rule "no more than 3 lines of description" #scriptchat
Subscribe to THE SCRIPT Podcast today! For filmmakers by filmmakers. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-script/id602272713?mt=2 … #scriptchat #writing pic.twitter.com/cns0J4lXF0- #scriptchat @timchildberger What about fantasy or day dreams?
- @jeannevb @timschildberger Good rule! Once you get longer then 3 lines - worth reviewing if it's all necessary for sure. #scriptchat
- @writeranthonydp Same rules. It's still a scene in a movie right? #scriptchat
- @timschildberger I wrote a post about polishing a screenplay full of tips I've learned from @UnkScreenwriter. I'll find it. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger @jeannevb Might also be a good sign to change the perspective if it's a long bridge between dialogu #scriptchat
- I find in my writing a huge challenge is revealing backstory. Really tempting to throw it all into SD. #scriptchat
- And we all write because we have the vision in our head right...some of us see shoe color and style. So I understand. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Actions would probably be better for that anyway.. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger How can you reveal backstory visually? What would you suggest? #scriptchat
- But scripts are really exercises in self discipline - especially TV. #scriptchat
- The best way to avoid overdescribing things: knowing someone later will have a better idea than you. #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 Figure out what's really crucial first. What contributes to story and character. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Blasted autism. The weirdest things gain my attention. #scriptchat
- Script gets made, you got professionals coming in who will have ideas you never thought of. Tell them want you want, not need. #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 @timschildberger Same here, but if you follow that thread, it can lead to interesting places. #scriptchat
- If you want to check out @liveReadLA deets here & discount code: http://scriptchat.blogspot.com/2017/02/tim-schildberger-of-livereadla-to-guest.html … #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 @timschildberger If you see the character's shoes clearly, what are those shoes telling you about the character? #scriptchat
- @timschildberger I know that visuals are important, especially in the plot of a story. If there's a close shot of an object... #scriptchat
- @blueneumann Exactly. Leave the set design and costumes to the professionals. just use guidelines. #scriptchat
- Here's the article to help you cut down your description and dialogue. I give examples... http://www.scriptmag.com/features/jeannes-tuesday-screenwriting-tips-polishing-a-screenplay … #scriptchat
- @timschildberger The invitation idea. Invite the others down the line to do their best work #scriptchat
- @jeannevb Thanks! Submissions are open until Friday - so you have time to hack the SD and submit. :) #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Like a photo, painting or other object, I'm thinking that might help visually illustrate backstory #scriptchat
- @timschildberger That is, if the camera focuses on it... #scriptchat
- I'm not saying don't say anything - but 'Joe, 35, dressed in an expensive suit' is all you need. #scriptchat
- Backstory seems to be one of those things where you might want to resist temptation to tel the whole story. #scriptchat
- #scriptchat Joe dressed like a slob.
- Backstory can be revealed at relevant times. #scriptchat
- @jeannevb Thanks Jeanne! Will check it out! #scriptchat
- @timschildberger What if he wears a plastic Adventure Time watch? #scriptchat
- Front loading in SD - we'll forget anyway by the time it may be useful or relevant. #scriptchat
- Late to class but we made it #ScriptChat
- @Al_1701 If that's important to the story David...by all means. If it's just because you like them...then no. :) #scriptchat
- @GorillaProducer Write "I will not be late to scriptchat 100 times." #scriptchat
- @GorillaProducer Welcome Calvin! *waves* #scriptchat
- @GorillaProducer Welcome Calvin! #scriptchat
- Tardy? I guess I am tardy... #scriptchat
- @dwacon Hey Dwayne! *waves* Welcome! #scriptchat
- @dwacon better late than never. #scriptchat
- We're talking scene descriptions for those who just popped in #scriptchat
- Resisting the overuse of SD also helps you figure out your characters. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger It would probably only become relevant when he checks it anyway. #scriptchat
- How would they react to a line of dialogue, or something in a scene...you need to know that more. #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 Or when he uses it to defuse the bomb under the table. #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 @timschildberger or the alarm goes off. "Mathematical!" "Gunter, it's four o'clock! (quak quak)" #scriptchat
- @timschildberger @Al_1701 BB-8 watch. He hooks it up to the bomb fuse and it goes "Whooo! Uh-oh!" #scriptchat
- In broad terms...EVERY SCENE should either inform character or story. Nothing else. That's the starting point. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger How would you go about efficiently using scene description in comedy? #scriptchat
- @blueneumann @timschildberger I also love those little nuggets of humor. You have this one thing off about the picture. #scriptchat
- So that informs SD. Is my character description useful to only those two masters? If not...I'm writing too much. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Including sitcom scripts? #scriptchat
- You can definitely add personality to SD - just a little - to avoid cliches. #scriptchat
- 'Jake, 47, walks like a constipated duck' enters the restaurant. #scriptchat
- Big fan of SDs having personality. Makes it more than a stage or a location. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger I try to use strong active verbs in action. Anything else like that you recommend keeping in mind? #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 Sitcom scripts are masterful displays of 'less is more' - you have 22 pages to tell everything. Don't waste a word. #scriptchat
- Wirh SD less is more See too many scripts come across our desk that reads like a novel... #ScriptChat
- @timschildberger Even for multi-cam shows? #scriptchat
- The personality of the scene ideally complimenting or contrasting with the characters in the scene. #scriptchat
- @SarahAlexis4 I was told once no SD should have a word ending in 'ing' No 'drinking', 'running' etc. She drinks, runs, etc. #scriptchat
- Saves space and feels cleaner and tighter. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger I've read a lot of sitcom scripts myself. Everything is tight and compact, and of course, funny #scriptchat
- @GorillaProducer Aren't they hard work? Worst is when the writer feels very proud of themselves for being a novelist! #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Regarding verbage, I've seen scripts where one action is either like "stops, turns..." or "Stops. Turns." #scriptchat
- Flowery language, vivid scenes, deep unseen emotions...great...and wrong medium. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Does it really matter how that's written? #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 I would say no. It doesn't matter. #scriptchat
- It's amazing when a script is read live - all this stuff becomes super obvious. #scriptchat
- #scriptchat Okay, lay off the ing.
- @jeannevb @timschildberger @SarahAlexis4 Thanks Jeanne - I never remember the fancy words. :) #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Thanks so much! #scriptchat
- We've had writers at the read shrink in their chair, saying they had no idea they wrote a novel. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger hazard of being an editor. :) #scriptchat
- You see bored audience, hear too much from the person reading the SD - it's super obvious super fast. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Q: any thoughts on how to effectively use scene description to transition from one scene into the next? #scriptchat
- Something I've realized is we don't have many main characters on there really on the spectrum. #scriptchat
- . @timschildberger That when we break out the RED pen to cut to the chase... #ScriptChat
- Novelistic language is like showing your work in math. If you want, do it in your brainstorming. Script is answer sheet. #scriptchat
- We've had shows and movies about autism, but from the perspective of the neural typicals around them. #scriptchat
- @SarahAlexis4 Again Sarah - I would encourage the Keep It Simple Stupid plan (KISS) #scriptchat
- Avoid camera angles too - please. #scriptchat
- Economy of words takes practice… but is an extremely valuable skill to develop. #scriptchat
- So no...'sweeping crane shot on suburban street, smash cut to Billy skipping on the sidewalk. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Again, unless it's vital. Like it's from someone's perspective. #scriptchat
- @dwacon Oh yeah. I was a TV news Journalist - 30 seconds of copy had to be exact. Amazing what can be done. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger never put ZOWIE SMASH ZOOM OUT in your script #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 There aren't too many times that happens...but yes definitely. Can still be done simply. #scriptchat
- @dwacon Please NO! Until you're Tarantino, and no-one will tell you to cut anything. #scriptchat
- Same goes for the one line characters. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Use sparingly. Definitely since there won't be many times it will be in that position anyway. #scriptchat
- You waste valuable time getting a waiter to ask a question. And you have to pay another actor. It's all too messy. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger What's been among the most interesting/informative feedback you've experienced in table reads? #scriptchat
- These skills will rapidly make your script look more professional - which makes people keep reading. #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 Hmm...characters that resonate/or don't. Hearing jokes land/fail, people missing the plot/story. #scriptchat
- Waiter appears… “The usual, and she’ll have a nicoise with a cabernet.” #scriptchat
- It's interesting when listeners get something I didn't see in my script, like a character vibe. #scriptchat
- @dwacon Exactly. Money and time saved. (apart from the extra who's moment has gone) :) #scriptchat
- @timschildberger I had a table read once at one of my writers' group meetings. Very informative, and very helpful. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger @dwacon Def. something I think about when making micro-characters: let them all have a moment. #scriptchat
- @dwacon You missed earlier - a liveread last month - 30 pages of script - 9 one line characters. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger It's very helpful to hear the dialogue being read, too. #scriptchat
- @blueneumann @timschildberger @dwacon I would suggest removing their moment completely. Unless crucial. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Have you ever had web series scripts read? I know you're accepting them for submissions... #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 It's incredibly helpful Chris. More than you realize beforehand. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger It definitely helped on the rewrites. #scriptchat
- Animation let's you be a little more liberal with one line characters because the voice talent for more primary characters... #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 we haven't yet - but we're hopeful. We've had a few plays submitted...one was a finalist. So soon I hope! #scriptchat
- can pick up those lines. #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 Oh yes. It's such a quick way to see if your script is heading where you want. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Awesome. I've been working on a web series for the past few years. I'm considering submitting. #scriptchat
- Live reads in front of strangers also good to test if your story has 'legs' - I've shelved a few after several reads. #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 Go for it! #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 I would caution against that thinking. Extra speaking parts risks confusing the audience. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Though I'm hoping to get feedback on it from my group, as well as my cast/crew. I might come up with another #scriptchat
- @timschildberger :) Thanks so much! #scriptchat
- @timschildberger It depends on the talent. Some people have a thousand voices. Some have just one. #scriptchat
- One line characters like 'Ill have what she's having' in 'Harry Met Sally' work. So think like that! #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Are the scripts that are usually submitted in first draft form? #scriptchat
- Many Loony Tunes were one person talking to him. #scriptchat
- If you're going to throw in a random for one line...make it memorable. And valuable. Otherwise... NO NEED. #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 True - but you're still dealing with a confused audience if you load up on random characters. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger I remember they had to pay an extra the speaking rate because she screwed up and said something. #scriptchat
- @filmwritr4 Hard to tell. Most scripts still need work...but then don't most scripts in the world? :) #scriptchat
- It was in Star Trek IV. However, it the line was so good that they ate the expense to leave it in. #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 Classic ending to a classic scene. #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 I'm sure that happens...which is awesome...but way beyond where we are. #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 I don't think "nuclear wessels" would be as iconic if that woman hadn't put that button on the scene. #scriptchat
- Can I tell you a secret? The whole 'learn the rules before you can break them' - I hated and resisted for years... #scriptchat
- And you know what happened? I wasted YEARS as a writer, not willing to learn, grow, develop. Don't waste time with exceptions. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger You don't break the rules. You bend them until they scream for mercy. #scriptchat
- We can find examples that don't fit. Like we can find the one bartender who's first draft got sold. EXCEPTIONS. #scriptchat
- These are 2 simple tips that will make your script look so much better, tighter, more professional quickly. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger I've always hated contrarianism, in both script and prose. Things work for a reason. Don't go against them... #scriptchat
- just because. #scriptchat
- Don’t forget to chk out discount for @liveReadLA here: http://scriptchat.blogspot.com/2017/02/tim-schildberger-of-livereadla-to-guest.html … #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 I've learned there's a time and place for your originality. Mostly in a kick ass story/characters. #scriptchat
- Not in script construction! :) #scriptchat
- @jeannevb Yes, please. And use the discount code!! Save money! Use it for free flash feedback! #scriptchat
- Also - being more disciplined in SD will make the lives of readers like me...much better. And we'll love you. #scriptchat
- About to land. Will catch rest in transcript. Thanks, @timschildberger! #scriptchat
- @timschildberger did you want to touch on character descriptions at all? Things that have stood out during the live reads? #scriptchat
- @SarahAlexis4 you get the award for most dedicated! Thanks, Sarah! #scriptchat
- And when we're casting for a LiveRead - not making actors read one line...they don't enjoy that. #scriptchat
- @SarahAlexis4 Safe landing Sarah! #scriptchat
- @jeannevb character description...they're tricky. I tend to go super lean. Because no-one remembers details. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger @jeannevb As long as it's what can be seen, and what's relevant, right? #scriptchat
- I don't enjoy reading lengthy costume lists. Or educational background, or who they're related too. #scriptchat
- F5 Plug: OSCAR SALE! VISUAL STORYTELLING Blue Book - only $2.99!!! https://www.amazon.com/Visual-Storytelling-Screenwriting-Blue-Books-ebook/dp/B0078FXAMA/secretsofactions … #amwriting #film #scriptchat
- I like gender, age, a few vague words on wardrobe, and if there's something relevant - like walking with a limp,or size #scriptchat
- and thanks it. #scriptchat
- It's a game with character description - as few words as possible to convey as much as possible. #scriptchat
- I know the issue of race has come up recently. Where a character is supposed to be ethnic but they just cast white actors. #scriptchat
- Words like 'weary', or 'worn', gives the actor in the read enough of a cue, so it will inform the reader too. #scriptchat
- @Al_1701 That's out of our hands David. Just make the race clear...same with gender. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger Thanks so much for joining us tonight, Tim! Thanks too to @jeannevb for having him! Will check out @liveReadLA! #scriptchat
- @timschildberger 1 tip I always keep in mind is not to insult the actor w/ too much detail. Let them do their job. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger come back anytime! Loved having you #scriptchat
- And if down the line it's changed...hopefully you've been paid...and you can afford to drown your sorrows. #scriptchat
- @jeannevb exactly true! Exactly. Man do they hate being led into obvious town. #scriptchat
- @timschildberger @jeannevb @liveReadLA Really enjoyed hearing from you about description, and thanks for sharing your knowledge! #scriptchat
- @blueneumann @timschildberg @jeannevb @timschildberger I would say character description is more for the benefit of the casting #scriptchat
- director. #scriptchat
- All yall, may I recommend trying your hand at drawing? Really trains the eye, which helps with SD and CD #scriptchat
- @timschildberger we're trying to attract actors, not piss them off :) #scriptchat
- @timschildberger @jeannevb @liveReadLA Enjoyed being here, as always! See you guys next week! <3 you all! #scriptchat
- Thanks to all! I hope it was helpful. Remember... LESS IS MORE. :) #scriptchat
- And I hope you'll check out our LiveRead - submit, come along March 6, or watch online! #scriptchat
- @timschildberger thanks so much, Tim! Really appreciate the insights. #scriptchat
- *blows a kiss* Goodnight everybody. #scriptchat
- @jeannevb Anytime. Thanks to you! #scriptchat
- Let me know of topics or guests you want for upcoming #scriptchat.
- Also the #scriptchat site has TONS of resources & transcripts back to 2009 http://scriptchat.com
- @jeannevb It's an excellent resource and you're doing great things. :) #scriptchat
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